


bittersweet

by erimins



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Self-Doubt, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erimins/pseuds/erimins
Summary: an unexpected intrusion from your roommate eren turns the night into something you never could’ve dreamed of.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader
Kudos: 18
Collections: erimin's fluff week





	bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> here is the final piece for my coping week extravaganza. i didn’t really know where i was going with this at first but it evolved into whatever it is now.

living with eren had been strange at first. he almost avoided you, leaving the room whenever you entered. anytime you asked him something, his answers were blunt and aggressively to the point. it wasn’t pleasant. it almost made you regret agreeing to this situation. if anything, it scared you and broke your heart. too much had changed. 

but things were different now. he was softer, more responsive. he’d grown comfortable in the space you shared. you didn’t wake up to his sobs in the middle of the night. those had devastated you; you’d had no way to help him, he wouldn’t let you. you couldn’t touch him let alone come into his room, but that had changed too.

still, you weren’t on the closest terms. conversations were short, smiles were tight. it was much better of course, but eren was like a feral cat, scared and jumpy. you almost had to approach him with your palms up and out so he wouldn’t be startled. 

you’d only just fallen asleep when you heard your door crack open. immediately you were tense, hands gripping at your sheets as you held still. whoever the intruder may be, you wouldn’t take any risks. it was still practically ingrained in your mind to remain secure and aware at all times. 

“it’s just me,” eren murmured, clicking the door shut behind him. 

that did nothing to settle your nerves. why would he even be here? had something happened? if anything, his presence made you more nervous. sitting up and holding your sheets to your chest, you fiddled around until the candle by your bed was lit. “what happened?” you asked, rubbing sleepily at your eyes. 

he stepped closer to your bed, still not answering. eren stood with his arms crossed over his chest, shifting his weight from foot to foot. 

“eren?” your tone was more concerned now. you shouldn’t have to worry about him, yet you were. 

a soft sigh left his lips. “i can’t sleep. my mind’s too full. can i…” he paused, refusing to meet your gaze. “can i sleep in here?” 

his question took you aback. he seemed so timid, so small when asking. it was so _not him_. you gave a gentle nod, patting the bed beside you. you wouldn’t refuse him your comfort or company. you were friends and had been for years. it would be cruel to throw him out of your room to suffer through a sleepless night. 

he slid in beside you, keeping his arms tucked into himself. “i’m sorry,” he mumbled, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. 

“don’t be sorry, eren. it’s not a big deal,” you said, readjusting to get comfortable again. 

“not for tonight, for everything. i was a dick to you for months, it wasn’t okay.” he glanced to look at you, trying to gauge your reactions. 

“you were struggling. i understand. i’m not upset about it. you were traumatized,” you told him, an almost sad look painted on your face.

“so were you. you still took care of me and showed me compassion even when i refused to even look at you.” 

“that’s because i care about you, you moron. i wouldn’t leave you to suffer and fall apart,” you said, your tone more forceful. 

eren’s turquoise eyes glimmered in the soft candlelight, fixed on you. “you care about me?” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

looking at him stunned, you blinked hard a few times. did he really have to ask that question? “yes, of course i do. why else do you think i agreed to this?”

he fell silent, looking anywhere but where you were laid out next to him. after a moment he spoke up. “because you’re a good person. you’re kind and loving.”

“did you think you were excluded from that treatment?” you asked, rolling onto your side to face him. 

he nodded softly and you could feel your heart shatter. the fact that he didn’t think he would be included in you kindness made you feel sick. he really had changed. your long time friend didn’t even believe that you’d still treat him with respect or even like a person. scooting closer to him, you took one of his hands between your own. 

“you’ve never been someone i’d treat poorly, eren,” you said, squeezing his hand gently. “like i said, i care about you. you’re important to me.” 

he noticeably relaxed in your touch, loving how soft your hands were against his calloused ones. gripping tightly to you, eren held your gaze. “but why? you know what i’ve done.” 

“because you aren’t a bad person. i don’t think so, at least. you were in a place where you didn’t have much choice. i can’t hate you for that,” you said, trying not to focus on how tightly he held onto you. 

“you should.”

you felt more upset now. you knew he was stubborn and there wasn’t much you could do to change his mind, but you hadn’t expected him to be so resistant. “i shouldn’t. because if i hate you for your actions, then i’d have to hate myself too.” 

he furrowed his eyebrows as if he knew you wouldn’t let him continue speaking down on him self. he rested his free hand tentatively over yours. “i’m sorry.” 

laughing almost sardonically, you shook your head. “don’t apologize. you don’t need to.” 

eren shifted closer to you, so close that you could feel the heat radiating off of your body. “fine. but can i do this?” he asked, resting a hand against your cheek gently. 

“i mean i don’t see why not,” you replied, a bit surprised by it.

he’d seemingly become comfortable rather quickly. perhaps it was the dim candlelight or the close proximity, but he almost seemed relaxed. it was a good look for him, he didn’t look cornered. he almost looked like himself again, at which you smiled faintly.

“sorry, that’s not what i meant,” he whispered, leaning in so close that his lips brushed over yours. 

shivers raced up your spine, making your skin prickle. eren pressed forward fully, sealing his lips against yours desperately. it wasn’t sweet or romantic, but instead almost heartbreaking. _bittersweet_. it was like he’d been alone for so long and he finally had a taste of something different. 

you kissed him back hesitantly, your hands letting his go instead hold his shoulders. he felt admittedly good against you, his chest warm and firm against your own. it was enough to make your head feel fuzzy. it’d been awhile since you’d even imagined being so close to a person. perhaps eren wasn’t the only one who was touch starved. 

with fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, you pulled away with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. “fuck,” you murmured, your breathing unsteady and shaky. 

“was that too much?” he whispered, his hands firm on your hips. 

you merely shook your head in response, kissing him gently again. it’d been better than you’d anticipated, his touch practically intoxicating. eren pulled you tighter against him, his grip almost bruising as he kissed back. he shifted your positioning, his body over yours as he pinned you into the mattress below you. 

your heart pounded in your chest as you snaked your arms around his neck. you were sure he could hear it with how hard it echoed in your own ears. eren’s hands didn’t stay anywhere on your body for long, grabbing and holding every inch he could. 

“i needed this,” he mumbled against your lips before pulling back to hold your gaze. “i needed you.”

“you can have me. i’m here,” you assured, hands sliding up to tangle in his hair. 

“you’ve been so damn good to me, always making me feel better. i should’ve been less standoffish.” eren laid his body gently over yours, being sure not to crush you under him. 

“admittedly it would’ve been nice if you hadn’t been so put off by my efforts,” you hummed, scratching gently at his scalp. 

eren’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, tucking his face into the crook of your neck. “i was just scared. and so lonely,” he sighed. 

“i know, sweet boy. i get it. you don’t have to be, i want to make that very clear.” you pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “you don’t have to feel lonely or scared, i’m here for you. always.”

the corners of his lips curled into a smile against the delicate skin of your throat as he placed a gentle kiss there. “good. you really do make me feel happy.” he whispered it like it was a secret, making your heart flutter. 

smiling as well, you let your eyes close. “you make me happy too. i appreciate you being so honest,” you murmured sleepily. 

eren shifted off of you, instead drawing you to rest gently on his chest. “‘m sorry for being such a coward. i would’ve told you sooner if i’d known you cared so much.” 

“stop apologizing so much, eren. it’s really okay. i’ve never been upset with you,” you said, head resting over his heart. the steady beat lulled you even closer to sleep. 

“good. i don’t wanna lose you like that again.” his chest rose and fell steadily as sleep approached him as well. 

“you won’t. you never will. i promise,” you slurred, already halfway to a dream state. 

as you slipped under, you could feel his grip tighten on your relaxed form. it was comforting, almost immediately knocking you into a peaceful sleep. maybe things weren’t as bittersweet as you thought. 


End file.
